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Jo Brand Quotes

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'Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.'

'People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare'

'With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get'

'Bexhill on Sea is a peck on the cheek: Hastings is a lolloping tongue down the throat'

'Bexhill on Sea is a peck on the cheek whilst Hastings is a lolloping tongue down the throat'

'My favorite sexual fantasy is smearing my body in chocolate and being left alone in a room to eat it'

'When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexia ward. I sometimes had 17 dinners'

'A woman that does a mans work is just a lazy cow'

'The way to tell if a man is sexually excited is to check if he is breathing'

'Andrew Marr looks like Martin Clunes with a little of the air let out of him'

Born in Wandsworth, London
More about Jo Brand

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Brit Quote:
I doubt whether classical education ever has been or can be successfully carried out without corporal punishment - George Orwell
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On this day:
Battle of the Boyne - 1690, First Day of the Somme - 1916, Disaster at Chilwell Shell Plant - 1918, Oxfam Opens its First Charity Shop - 1948, Wade wins Jubilee Wimbledon - 1977, Britain hands back Hong Kong to China - 1997, Smoking Ban in England - 2007
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